On Saturday a memorial service was held for the Late Dr Henry Benjamin Obonyo and his family in the United Kingdom where the deceased and his family lived. Dr Obonyo and three members of his family perished in a gruesome January accident along the Kampala- Gulu highway. At the Saturday memorial, Mzee Paul Kilama, a retired civil servant and a friend to the late Dr Obonyo and family paid the deceased a moving tribute. Acholi Times has published the tribute below with slight editing.
First and foremost let me start by conveying once again my sincere and heartfelt message of condolence to all members of the late Dr.Henry Benjamin Obonyo’s family and to members of his extended family.
Please also allow me to express my sincere gratitude to the celebrant and co-celebrant who conducted this memorial mass. Equally, please allow me to extend the same note of gratitude to other clerics, from all the other Christian denominations, who are here in attendance. Finally, I would like to thank all of you mourners who are in attendance, for taking your valuable time off to be with us on this sad occasion.
Since the 2nd January, 2016 (just over nine weeks ago) we have all gone through the agony of grief, heartache, bewilderment and even despair, on hearing the news of the tragic motor accident that happened that day in Northern Uganda, at approximately 10.30 AM (E A time), which claimed the lives of these four members of one family. Since then, at one time or another we in the community, young or old have experienced a sudden surge of uncontrollable emotion, causing us suddenly and subconsciously to shed tears. To me this is a normal reaction to such human tragedy as death is. As some wise man (Washington Irving) once put it, “There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and unspeakable love.” Another wise man, the Greek Poet Aeschylus (525-456BC), more than 2500 years ago, in his attempt to express how corrosive grief or sorrow can be, wisely observed that, “Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until in our own despair, against our will comes wisdom through the awful grace of God”.
No doubt the loss of four adult members of one family, happening as it did, within the blink of an eye, is unique indeed, a tragedy of cataclysmic magnitude. Nevertheless, despite the gravity of this loss let us not despair, but continue to have faith in God, lest we get tempted to embrace nihilism i.e. a negative philosophical school of thought which asserts that all religious and moral principles are baseless and that life itself is meaningless. On the contrary I prefer that we learn something from the good example of the toddler who when smacked by the mother, runs away and attempts to shun her mother, it might even openly denounce her mother “I hate you”, but the anger lasts only for a while. However curiously enough, if the same child is suddenly confronted with another monster, it will quickly realise the futility of rebelling against its own mother; it will immediately forget about the beating and instinctively run back to its mother for protection. Therefore as we have no other alternative, let us beseech God Almighty Himself for the consolation and necessary strength which we all need so desperately to help us cope with this calamitous loss. After all, did not our Lord Jesus Christ Himself proclaim so authoritatively, assuring us in Jhon 11:25 that “I am the resurrection and the life, he that believes in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live”
Having examined the phenomenon of death and the pain and agony associated with it, albeit very briefly, allow me now to pay my personal tribute to the deceased, Dr Henry Benjamin Obonyo(RIP) and other co-deceased, namely his wife Kevina and their two deceased daughters, Lisa and Marjorie.
I must admit at the onset that I have never had to undertake a more daunting task than having to prepare a fitting tribute to a friend and brother, such as Dr Obonyo was. Moreover the tragic way in which they died makes it the more emotional and heart wrenching. I felt so bereft and dumfounded when I first received the news of their death that even in the family book of condolences all I could write was summed up in three words, “Lost for words”. Nevertheless I must admit that I feel both honoured and humbled to deliver this tribute. In doing so I am aware of my own limitations, that I possess neither the wits, nor words, nor worth, action nor utterances, nor the power of speech to convey to you accurately what I feel deep in my heart about this family tragedy.
I first met the deceased, Daktaa as we often fondly addressed him in our small circle of friends, in 1961 when he was still a medical student. It was my first year after leaving school. I had just joined UMS (Uganda Medical Service), Gulu Hospital with the intention of training to become a certificated male Nurse, but I gave up the ambition the following year, and opted instead to take up a career in Local Government Finance and Accountancy. During that year Daktaa was on his work placement in Gulu hospital. He was attached to the laboratory section of the hospital. At the time, during that brief encounter neither of us could have foreseen that in this journey called life we would be meeting on and off for the next fifty-five years! After that brief meeting at Gulu Hospital we never met again during the rest of the 1960s, because during the later part of the sixties I was working in Eastern Province while he, soon after completing his first medical degree (MBChB) at Makerere University Kampala came to the UK to pursue his post graduate studies. I understand that he successfully completed his post graduate studies at Manchester and Edinburgh Universities respectively.
He returned to Uganda towards the end of 1969. Before he could settle down properly the Amin coup des tat of 25th January 1971 took Uganda by surprise. Very soon the country was engulfed in a state of lawlessness and insecurity. The following year, about September 1972 Daktaa left Uganda for neighbouring Kenya where he worked for Kenyatta National Hospital in Nairobi and also lectured in Urology in the University of Nairobi. The following year, 1973 I accidentally caught up with him again when I also went to Kenya for further studies, as an adult student at Strathmore College, Nairobi, now the University of Strathmore. I recall that on one occasion when I needed urgent medical treatment he quickly arranged an appointment for me and I was quickly treated. After the end of my course in 1974, I returned to Uganda to resume work. Three years later, i.e. in 1977 I too had to flee Uganda along with many Ugandan Civil and public servants mainly from Acholi and Lango communities, following the killing of Archbishop Janani Loum, Minister Oboth-Ofumbi and other prominent Uganda citizens, mainly from the two communities. I did not meet him again in Nairobi during 1977 because by then he had left Kenya to work for Williamson Diamond Mine Hospital in Tanzania. As I now understand he also lectured in the University of Dar-es- Salaam. After a brief spell of employment as Accounts Officer with the UNDP office in Nairobi I left Kenya and came over to the UK, that same year, initially to pursue further studies, but later stayed on as an asylum seeker.
When the Amin regime was toppled in April, 1979, it opened the way for Daktaa and many Ugandans in exile to return to Uganda. He was appointed Minister of Industry by the National Consultative Council in the immediate post Amin regime, which lasted until the December, 1980 election. During that period I visited Uganda every year, between 1979 to 1983. I often met him in the company of his other colleagues. Early in 1985 I return to Uganda with the intention of settling down. I resumed work with my previous employer. Barely four months later the Tito Lutwa regime came to power following a military coup. Daktaa was again appointed Minister of Health. During the short period of the Tito Lutwa administration, Daktaa, who was substantively the Minister of Health acted briefly as Minister of Finance. The one memorable thing worthy of note which he did during the short period was that he signed the legal instrument which enabled the establishment of Uganda’s Centenary Rural Development Bank, which today is one of the most successful banks in the country. Without the Centenary and a few other bona fide banks, the people of Uganda would have been left at the mercy of those rogue bankers, who after 1986 also opened their banks but soon ran bankrupt. Many lost their hard earn savings to these rouge bankers. Unfortunately and despite the concluded Nairobi Peace accord signed on 17th December, 1985, the Tito-Okello regime was violently overthrown, barely five weeks later. That fateful weekend on Saturday 25th January, 1986 when Kampala fell to the allied guerrilla forces both of us had coincidentally gone to Gulu. We remained trapped there for nearly three months.
When Gulu was eventually overran I returned to Kampala and resumed work. However the atmosphere of ethnic hostility fueled by official media rhetoric that followed the fall of the Tito Lutwa regime made it difficult for Ugandans from certain parts of the country to feel safe in the country. I decided to return to the U K the same year, in December, 1986. Time has since proved that my mistrust of the regime was well founded. The many thousands of Ugandans who came here since 1986, probably outnumber those who came during the Amin regime one hundred times. This is yet another proof that my sense of foreboding in 1986 was well founded. We all can recall that soon after that three million Ugandans from the Greater North were forcibly herded into hundreds of concentration camps. In Acholi region alone there were more than two hundred such camps.
Towards the end of 1987 Daktaa also arrived in the UK, to seek asylum. By a strange coincidence he was allocated Council accommodation in Wandsworth borough, the same borough where my family had been resident for more than ten years. This brought us even closer together. When he formed Vanguard Health Information Services (VHIS), a charitable not-for-profit organisation, he requested me to be the Accountant, a voluntary post, which I accepted. Within a few years of its inception the Vanguard publication was already being printed in French and English. There were also radio broadcasts in the two languages. The charity had just expanded to cover East and Southern Africa. There were already two Zambians on the board. The next plan was to have the periodical publication translated into Lingala for the Congolese and Kibemba for the Zambian clients. Similarly radio broadcasts in Kibemba and Lingala were planned to follow. However for reasons beyond our control the charity was voluntarily wound up, after serving the community for over ten years.
When I moved out of Wandsworth borough to Sutton in Surrey, a few years later Daktaa also coincidentally relocated to Purley Downs, within Croydon borough, also in Surrey County, only about 5 kilometers from my present residence.
When Daktaa’s daughter, Helen, also a medical doctor in her own rights wanted her customary marriage settled the father requested me to chair the ‘had hoc’ committee, tasked with the responsibility of organising and managing the occasion. I willingly accepted the task and the customary marriage was successfully negotiated and settled amicably on 21st October, 2006. This function was attended by many members of our U K community, in Purley Downs.
As for Daktaa’s family, let me take the opportunity to acknowledge that whenever I visited the family, I was always warmly welcomed. Kevina always welcomed us, her husband’s friends with open harms. The children were always well mannered, humble and courteous; like father and mother, like sons and daughters. As for Kevina, the saying that behind every successful man there is a successful woman could not be truer. She was undeniably the ‘wind in his vessel’s sails’; ‘the wind beneath his wings’. It therefore goes without saying that because of Kevina’s selfless commitment to the family both of them contributed to raising a good and successful family. I dare say that Kevina has done the people of Palisa proud.
As for Daktaa himself, as I knew him, he was always a Ugandan at heart. He was a bridge builder. He enjoyed good relations with other groups of Ugandans, from Buganda, to West Nile, to Eastern and Western regions. He was completely detribalised. It is therefore not surprising that he picked his soul mate from the Eastern side of the country. Daktaa as we all know was ever so cool, clam, meek and unassuming. Even when all others around him were losing their calm he never lost his cool. I never ever heard him refer to other Ugandans in terms of “them and us”, or crudely referring to them as “these people”. I never ever heard him raise his voice against anyone, even when provoked. I must admit that his humility, elegance and general decorum, which had virtually become his hall mark, in my opinion had a tinge of nobility to it. His degree of humility to me remains a powerful lesson, worthy of emulation by many of us in the community. Daktaa by your example you made some of us appreciate the soft power inherent in humility.
Besides that Daktaa, those of us who were close to you know that there was a spiritual side to yourself, perhaps unknown to others at large. For nearly ten years Daktaa was Chairman of OLUSCA, our Lady of the Rosary Archfraterity for Eastern Africa here in the UK, catering for the spiritual needs of Ugandans, Kenyans, Tanzanians, Burundians and Rwandese. The Association meets three or four times a year to celebrate mass in Our Lady of the Assumption Catholic Church, Bethnal Green, Victoria Park Square, London E2.
Furthermore I remember that in October, 2002 Daktaa was among a large contingent of UK based Christians from Uganda who travelled to Rome to witness the beatification of two additional Uganda martyrs from Paimol, in Gulu diocese. They are now Blessed Jildo Irwa and Blessed Daudi Okello respectively.
The following year, in 2003 Daktaa again joined a large contingent of UK based Christians from Uganda and Sudan who travelled to Rome to witnessed the canonisation of St. Daniel Comboni, founder of the Comboni Missionaries, previously known as Verona Fathers. After that pilgrimage and before returning to the UK Daktaa and myself made and extended pilgrimage to San Giovanni Rotondo, to visit St. Pio’s shrine in Southern Italy. I also know that within the last decade Daktaa and other members of his family made a pilgrimage to Our Lady’s shrine in Lourdes in Northern France. I believe that such efforts including Lisa’s voluntary services in this parish church has stood you in good stead before the Lord.
It would be unfair to end my tribute without any reference to our Acholi customary practices and belief associated with death. I think that the most fitting Acholi dirge for this occasion would be the all too familiar composition by the great composer Samsoni Too, a name which ironically also means death in Acholi language. The title of the composition, which many of the elder members of the community will be familiar with is “Too oneko layomcwiny”, which translated means “death has claimed the benevolent and big hearted one”. For truly Daktaa you were one of our last remaining precious metals in our community’s coffer; one of the last of our little old dimes, which were once a pocket full i.e., “odong moko pa ma acel long” as Samsoni Too most appropriately put it in his composition.
You were one of the last of the now fast diminishing circle of the generation of hard working and pioneering Acholi men, brought up in the forties and fifties that ventured, not just within Uganda but throughout the former British East Africa in search of education, jobs and other opportunities. Some of you ventured beyond East Africa, i.e. to the far flung corners of the earth, such as North America and Western Europe. This same spirit of adventure and quest for knowledge inherent in us also lured some of your generation to the forbidden countries of Eastern Europe. After completing their studies they also went back to Uganda triumphant.
In short Daktaa’s generation went through thick and thin and prevailed and because of it we stood tall, head and shoulders above others. I must admit that your achievements were made possible because meritocracy was still firmly in place in Uganda. There was equal opportunities for all Ugandans, at least during the colonial rule, and up to the first decade after our independence. The idea of state house scholarships, just to circumvent fair play so as to prop up those who would not succeed without massive dozes of favouritism was not yet born. Thank God that the Colonial Governor and the Uganda government of the sixties had no need for such dodgy scholarships schemes. Consequently at the dawn of independence from colonial rule we were well represented in various categories of employments, the uniform services, the civil service, and in the country’s only university, Makerere.
Furthermore the UDC(Uganda development Corporation), a massive holding company with more that fifty subsidiaries, which in the sixties was the pride of Uganda and the envy of other African countries was managed by one of your generation of trailblazers; another son of the soil. That is what makes your untimely departure and the loss of members of your generation so hard to bear.
Finally let me end by saying “God be with you till we meet again”. May all your souls rest in eternal peace. Amen. Mourners, thank you for bearing with me.